just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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