my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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