Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
