we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
