didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
