we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
