I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
