I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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