i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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