yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize