Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
