she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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