addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize