You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
