im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I love you.
Bad choice
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
