a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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