My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize