I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
