Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
