I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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