If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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