Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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