I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
