using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
