I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
