he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
