i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
