My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm like, not good at living.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
