Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
