Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
