ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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