how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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