i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
