You work out of a Hotel?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize