Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
