Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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