I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
