I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
