He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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