I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
