ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
