so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
