I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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