Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This baby is an asshole
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
