I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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