You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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