eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
