im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize