we're blogging at a bar
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
3 2 1 whiskey
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
