Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
