Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
