hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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