I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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