Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
