I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
