i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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